Sunday

Day 30, 20th of July - The Coward Inside Us

   I used to think I was a strong person. For many times I proved myself I was strong. I stood up for the weak, I helped who needed, gave food to those who were hungry... I used to imagine a situation of stress or danger and think how would I react. Normally, those situations ended up with me saving the day and being a hero. I really thought I was strong, physic and mentally. But, even after all these years believing in that and imagine those situations, it took just 5 minutes of my last night to realize I was lying to myself.
   While I was waiting for the bus, around 4am., a group of 5 guys between 15 and 20 years old approached a bench behind the bus stop to smoke something. There was a young couple (20's) and a man waiting for the bus too. I saw a woman on the other side of the street, cursing to the cars that were passing by. Then, she started to walk towards the group behind me. She was clearly drunk. They started a weird conversation, that I didn't pay much attention, but then I actually turned around and saw the woman spitting in a guy's face. What was she thinking? Probably she wasn't thinking at all, she didn't know what was she doing. Two guys started laughing, and two more spit back to her. Another one pushed her and she fell. Then, like typical cowards, the all ran away and left her lying down. But the most coward person that night was me. I stood there and did nothing. I called the emergency number when they were running away and asked her if she was ok, but, the moment I should have intervened had already passed by. She said she was ok, she knew where she was and that she was now going home. So I told the emergency people there was no need to call for police or an ambulance. When I hung up the phone, the woman kept saying: "You saw. They beat me. They beat me. They beat me." And while she was saying that, I was thinking: "I saw, and I did nothing. I'm a coward." The bus came, and when I was entering the bus, she grabbed my arm and said: "You save my life."
   But I didn't. I just stood there, indifferent, frozen, like a coward.

Asdrubal