Sometimes, we look back and we just don't know how that happen... It's such a mess, and then we want to go back and fix things, but it's not possible for us to do so, and we desperate, we feel useless, impotent, powerless, week. We feel 'we' are not 'us' anymore. And that, because we made the wrong choices, we left who we mustn't leave. We become less and less 'us', when we lose who we love. When that happens, no matter which and how many friends you have, you get lonely, you become no one.
Not even if my tears were as much as an ocean, not even if i ran all over the world twice, not even if i could see the future, not even if knew how to speak all the known and unknown languages in the world, not even if i could move mountains, not even if i was as fast as light, not even if i could live for ever, not even if i was the richest person in the world, not even if i die, not even if i was as stronger as iron, not even if i knew the most important persons in the world, not even if i was invincible... Only if i could change the past...
It's been more than a month since 2011 began, and i never felt needing to write here... As you can get from my other texts, I usually write when I'm in a bad mood, not because I'm rude, well, sometimes doh, but because I'm feeling down. And this week, hum, I'm very willing to get to a happy ending, at lest the end. Everything went wrong. Only the beginning wasn't that bad, but from then after, I rip off some hundreds of hairs 'cause of stress. I just wanted some days away from here, like the the amazing week in summer that made me forget all my responsibilities, and I had someone that I really wanted, on my side. I just hope that I'll live those days again...